February 2020

I was sitting in my favourite chair in the lounge room the other day and my wife (long suffering woman – so she keeps reminding me) came into the room and stood in front of me and clearly said (I am sure the neighbours could clearly hear her) “Are you listening to me?” (along with some other words that seem to have got lost in background of life but sounded like “blah blah blah”). Now I pride myself on my caring calm nature where every word my wife utters is important and should be acted on straight away. But the problem is that she keeps moving her mouth and nothing making any sense comes out (or so it seems to me). She accuses me of “selective deafness” and that my hearing is getting worse as I get older. I have spent some time studying this “selective deafness” that wives seem to accuse their husband of developing. In fact – it seems that this condition mainly occurs in men once they have been married for over 3 years, teenage children – where the condition not only affects their hearing but also their ability to retain information and their ability to talk properly (only allowing them to answer questions with monosyllable grunts) and adolescent members of the community where you have told them to be home by 10pm and they turn up at 2am along with loud noises and cars backfiring as it drives down the road.

I need to spend more time researching this condition and that may mean more time playing golf and discussing this with my golf partners, spending more time in the bar talking to other patrons and more time going fishing where, again, this can be discussed with other fishing mates. In fact this could take a LONG time of researching before the truth is revealed. In the mean time I will just have to try and interrupt the “blah blah blah” that I keep hearing and the neighbours will just have to get use to the noise. Till next Month, DAVO